


A Separate Piece of My Heart

by alharrypotternerd



Category: A Separate Peace - John Knowles
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alharrypotternerd/pseuds/alharrypotternerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gene and Finny explore their feelings for each other over the summer. AU where Finny never falls out of the tree.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Gene’s POV:**

I’m sitting at the desk in our dorm room, my head swimming with numbers and equations as I do my math homework. I hear the soft sound of snores behind me, and I turn to see Phineas laying sprawled across his bed on his stomach like a puppy after playtime. One arm is hanging over the side of the bed, and the book that he had been reading is laying upside down on the floor a few inches away. I’m not surprised that he’s fallen asleep; we’d been running around playing blitzball all day in the warm summer sun, and homework tended to put Finny to sleep anyway.

I turn back to my desk and keep working. A few minutes later, Finny mumbles “Gene?”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever felt like you had this...connection with someone that’s always been there and you’re not sure how?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.” I turn toward him and find his bright green eyes staring intently into mine.

“Me either,” he says, shaking his head slightly. “Why do you ask?” I question. He drops his gaze from mine and his cheeks turn slightly pink. For a second, it seems like he’s about to say something, but then he apparently changes his mind.

“It’s nothing,” he mutters, rolling over on his side. “I’m gonna go to sleep. Good night, Gene.”

“Good night, Finny.”

As I lean back on my pillow a few minutes later, I keep thinking about what Finny had said. I hadn’t really been truthful before; I do know what Finny meant about feeling a connection with someone. I just wasn't sure how to tell him that I felt that kind of connection with him. I wonder what he had been about to say before-I’d kind of hoped that he would say that he felt the same kind of connection with me, too. I fall asleep to the sound of our unspoken words ringing in my ears.

When I wake up the next morning, the sun is shining through our window, lighting up the room with a hazy golden glow. Across the room, Finny is still sleeping soundly, a calm oasis, obviously enjoying a pleasant dream. I smile, momentarily captivated by the sight. I recall our conversation from the night before, and I wonder how Finny would respond if I told him how I felt about him. I consider telling him after he wakes up, but I’m not sure exactly what I want to say. First I have to figure out exactly how I feel; I’m a little confused about all of it. Sometimes I feel like there’s something between Finny and I that was different than friendship-deeper. But I figure it’s just me. After all, why would he think of me as anything more than a friend? Finally I decide to say nothing, at least for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Finny’s POV:**  
I open my eyes and I’m practically blinded by the sunlight streaming from the window into my face. “Ugh, too bright!” I groan. I hear Gene chuckling at me from across the room. “You’d think that you would have gotten used to the sun after spending years outside,” he jokes.

“Shut up,” I reply. “And for your information, I am used to the sun. I just don’t like being blinded first thing in the morning.”

“Yeah, sure,” said Gene as he gets out of bed, rolling his eyes.

I put my pillow over my head as if doing so will deny the reality of having to go to class. I’ve almost drifted off to sleep again when I feel a soft impact on my chest. “Finny!”

I uncover my face to see Gene holding a pillow that he had obviously just hit me with. “Finny, come on, wake up. We’re going to miss breakfast.”

“Fine,” I sigh. Gene rolls his eyes slightly and turns away, putting his books in his backpack as I get dressed. As he crosses the room, I notice the way the sunlight reflects off his hair as he moves, and the way that the light makes his eyes sparkle. I stand there for a moment, admiring the sight, before I turn away to get my own things together, shaking my head slightly. Stop getting so distracted, I think to myself. I’ve been noticing these things a lot lately, and it’s created a few awkward moments when Gene has caught me staring at him. The thing is, I only ever notice things like that about him and no one else. _What does that mean?_ I wonder.

As we walk to class after breakfast, I remember the conversation that Gene and I had had last night. I don’t know exactly what prompted me to ask Gene about feeling a connection with someone. I’m not really sure where I was going with that. I guess I wanted to see if he might feel the same connection with me that I do with him. Based on his answer, I guess he doesn’t.

I can’t stop thinking about it all through English. I try to tell myself that it doesn’t matter. We’re still best friends. Only...sometimes I think that I might want something more than that.

****  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Gene’s POV:**

We’re standing at the base of the tree. Again. _This is pointless_ I think-we all know that Leper isn’t going to jump out of the tree this time, the same way he didn’t the last four times he told us he would. But Finny insisted that we all come down regardless. Leper starts climbing up the tree trunk, then stops and comes back down, shaking his head. Finny, noticing the slight pink tinge in his cheeks, steps forward, drawing the attention away from Leper and toward himself.

“That’s alright Leper,” he says. “Maybe next time. I guess it’s my turn now.” He starts climbing the trunk, then stops and looks down at me. “Gene, come with me,” he says. “We can do a jump of friendship.”

“Alright,” I say, rolling my eyes slightly, but still smiling. I follow Finny up the tree and in a minute we’re standing on the big branch. The limb is swaying and shaking in the wind, which is more turbulent tonight than it usually was. Finny makes his way to the end of the limb, and my heart leaps into my throat a few times as he stumbles and recovers in the wind, which seems to get more violent as Finny gets closer to the edge. He turns and beckons to me, a charming smile on his face, and I start to move towards him.

As I step forward, there is a large gust of wind, and as I try to keep my balance my foot hits the branch harder than I meant it to, and I feel the limb dip under me. I look up and see Finny flailing in the sudden movement, but instead of recovering the way he had before, he pitches to the side and tumbles off the branch. “Gene!” he shouts.

“Finny!” I cry as I rush forward. I see that somehow he’s managed to grab the branch with one hand, but his fingers are slipping. I quickly sit, straddling the branch, as grab Finny’s wrist. Then I reach down and grab his other hand and pull him up, scooting back on the branch to give him room to sit on it. He’s still holding my hands as he faces me.  
“Gene,” he says, “You saved me.” His voice is shaking slightly. “Thank you.” Before I can reply, he leans forward and pulls me into a tight hug. When we lean back, I smile at him. “Well of course I saved you,” I say. “You’re my best friend. I wasn’t going to let you fall.” He smiles when I say this, then glances down at the group of boys on the ground beneath us.

  
“Well,” he says, “I suppose that while we’re up here, we should do that jump of friendship.” We stand up and carefully move to the end of the branch. We’re still holding hands. Finny looks at me, a wide grin on his handsome face. “To friendship,” he says, and we jump into the river together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Finny’s POV:**

Gene and I climb up onto the river bank, our hair and clothes dripping. The other boys rush up to us. “Are you ok? We saw you nearly fall out of the tree and hit the ground,” says Brinker.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say. “I think we should head back. It’s too windy to be jumping out of the tree tonight.” Everyone agrees and starts walking back to the dorms. Gene and I walk to the base of the tree and pick up our shoes, shirts, and jackets from where we discarded them before climbing the tree. Gene is quiet as we put them on, but that’s not unusual for him. He’s always been more of a strong silent type. It’s actually one of the things I like best about him. When we start moving back to the dorm, however, he breaks the silence that has fallen over us.

“Hey Finny?” he says. He sounds a little nervous, which surprises me a little. Why should he be nervous?

“Yeah?” I say.

“You remember last night when we were talking about feeling a connection with someone?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and…” he pauses like he doesn’t quite know what to say next. “And, um...I kinda lied to you last night. I actually do know what you’re talking about. I have felt a connection with someone-you.”

I feel my heart skip a beat. My thoughts are racing so fast that I almost miss it when Gene says “I didn’t tell you before because I wasn’t sure what you’d think. The connection I feel...sometimes I feel like it’s stronger than just friendship. He looks into my eyes, and it feels like he can see right into my soul. “I-I understand if you don’t feel the same-”

He doesn’t finish the sentence because at that moment I lean forward and kiss him. He inhales sharply, and we melt into each other. I wrap my arms around his waist while he tangles his fingers in my hair. After a minute or so, we lean back.

“I feel the same way,” I say.

**Gene’s POV:**

For a second, all I can do is blink as I try to process what just happened. As I think through it, I feel a smile forming on my face. He feels the same way! This seems almost too good to be true, so I say “Really?”

“Of course I do,” Finny replies. His green eyes are sparkling with joy as he says this, and his hair gleams in the light given off by the vibrant orange sunset. He kisses my nose softly and untangles from me, retaining a hold on one of my hands. We start walking again, and I think that this is the happiest I’ve ever felt. From the grin on Finny’s face, I have a feeling that he might be thinking along similar lines.    


End file.
